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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why I have airplane-mode turned on on my phone all the time? 'Cause I'm so fly"

"What do you call Squidward's Protest Group in Mexico? Counter-Esp*i*on*a*ge"

"How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out the cotton is already picked."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track."

"Why was the guitar teach arrested? For fingering a minor."

"You know what I love about world history? ... It's a long story"

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"Why is it called the cock? Because it rises in the morning."

"as you wonder ""where the weed at?"" a worm hole opens up in front of you and through the portal an alien arm reaches out to pass you a blunt"

"What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? There have been reported sightings of bigfoot"