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Joke of the Day

"Last year I felt miserable and depressed, but this year I've managed to turn it around. Now I feel depressed and miserable."

"Why is it that when a guy nails a ton of girls, he's called a stud... ...but when he nails a ton of studs, he's in construction?"

"I am sure that in alcohol are female hormones. When I drink I talk too much and don't know how to drive."

"If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like."

"What do peasants do in their spare time? They serf"

"Tired? Cranky ? Feeling like crap .....There's a nap for that ."

"So I broke up with the Japanese girl I was dating I had to drop the bomb twice"

"My Butt giving the day off to employees on Thanksgiving.. **PSYCHE** Probably gonna take a huge dump instead."

"What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!"

"Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers? Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach."