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Joke of the Day

"If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like."

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"Why wasn't I able to see the instruction manual? Because the instructions were clear."
"One a Vietnamese game show, two brothers won 5 million dollars cash and an automatic convertible It was a Nguyen Nguyen situation."
"I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay."
"if you haven't been called a racist on the internet you haven't been using the internet"
"""I know,, Let's tape a spider to a lobster and scare the crap out of everyone."" God, when He made scorpions"
"how do you get a cat to say like a chicken freeze it and bang it against the table and it says: gog gog gog"
"If you have more than 4 kids I automatically refer to you as a hoarder."
"Dinner When my wife asks me ""What do you want to have for dinner"" I never guess right."
"What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6? ""Get bent"" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it."