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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact: The human brain isn't able to register typos or grammar errors until after hitting teh Send button."

"me: wow a pegasus flying horse: actually Pegasus was just one horse we all have different names me: oh whats yours flying horse: Pegasus 2"

"A midget fortune-teller who escapes prison Is a small medium at large."

"How to stop a small dog from humping your leg. Pick him up, and suck his dick!"

"The difference between men and women is that for men, ""stabby"" is not an emotion."

"I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter."

"That awkward moment when you step on a lego and all the kids scatter because they know SOMEONE must die."

"""I don't understand the value in seeing a therapist."" - People who haven't spent time with me yet."

"You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper."

"""I'm afraid I have some very bad news, sir,"" the doctor said. ""You have cancer and Alzheimer's."" ""Oh, well, at least I don't have cancer."""