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Joke of the Day

"""I'm afraid I have some very bad news, sir,"" the doctor said. ""You have cancer and Alzheimer's."" ""Oh, well, at least I don't have cancer."""

"Giraffes can never be successful comedians... Their humor goes way over your head. "

"Two altar boys are hoping to work in a church. They are walking down the aisle in the church when the priest sees them. He walks up to them and says, ""Gee, I've never come across your faces before."""

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""

"Today I fucked up by posting in the wong subreddit... Also titled the post incorrectly and made a typo, like an ediot. Edit: idiot"

"Real geniuses never talk about that they are a genius. I know from myself."

"My roommate recently had me added to her insurance. Not what I was thinking of when we spoke about friends with benefits."

"What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims? DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!"

"How to propose a boy?"

"I've never gotten in a car accident whenever I'm drunk or high. So, statistically, based on the data, I am a worse driver when I'm sober. Now where's my whiskey?"