911

Joke of the Day

"I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter."

"""Lie flat on your backs class and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes"" said the gym teacher. ""Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet boy."" ""I'm freewheeling sir."""

"If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, then what brings no babies? Swallows"

"What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!"

"Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business? All of its servers were busy"

"How many seconds are there in a day in Africa? Seconds? They barely get firsts!"

"Went out to dinner with a cannibal last night.. It cost me an arm and a leg"

"What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea."

"If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths test I'd have about 6.30 by now"

"A blind man walks into a bar... And then a table... And then a chair..."