172836

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the jaw, it's decendents are known today as giraffes."

"I've got my own lie detector at home. I call her ""honey"".....:)"

"What do you call a record of everything that goes in and out of your ass? An ANALog."

"Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route."

"Black people Ash Wednesday doesn't have anything to do with. your dry cracked skin."

"Selfies? In my day we stared in a mirror and then felt ashamed."

"NORMAL PEOPLE: ""aww, they're such a cute couple"" ME: ""I wonder if they fu***d yet"""

"I think at my age the next tattoo will be more responsible like a dragon across my back but doing his taxes."

"My wife told me she'll leave me if I go blind. I guess I'll just have to see."

"Blowdryer Incident Bob's wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing? Apparently, ""heating up your breakfast"" was not the right answer!"