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Joke of the Day

"Selfies? In my day we stared in a mirror and then felt ashamed."

"Tupac Hologram owes me $50 if you see him materialize any time soon tell him I'm looking for him"

"Really want to try out a career in tracing, or something along those lines."

"I texted and drive sometimes I guess we all do stupid things when we're drunk"

"""YOLNT"" -Cats"

"If I had a dollar for every girl I fucked ... ... I would be still fucking poor!"

"To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice"

"We never knew he was always drunk... ...until he showed up to work sober."

"I could never succeed at chemistry. I Guess that's why it's called chemist ""try"""

"There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth? Two marks."