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Joke of the Day

"Two computers were having sex All you could hear was 0 0 0 0 0 0"

"When does a Smurf pull his pants down? Once in a blue moon."

"I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job."

"What did the window say when it was cracked? Well this is a pane in my glass."

"Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now."

"7 yo son asked how Grandpa got lung cancer. I said, ""Well, he quit a long time ago, but for many many years, Grandpa played Minecraft."""

"My wife divorced me after years of daily penis enlargement surgeries. She couldn't take it any longer."

"Hahaha you're killing me. ~Me to this cigarette."

"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"

"I sustained a serious neck injury a few years ago... ...and I've never looked back."