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Joke of the Day

"I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job."

"Did you hear about the guy ducking charges of sheep rape? He's on the lam."

"On a scale from one to one hundred, how mature are you? 69."

"What if bananas turn black and bruised because they run their own fight club when we're not around?"

"My friend really changed onced she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore"

"Recently found out I'm not the devil. I read the tag on my underpants incorrectly; it said ""Satin"". Oops."

"Bill Clinton: ""I sure hope Hillary gets better interns than I did..."" ""All of mine sucked"""

"I went to a really posh school. In fact it was so posh, the Gym was called James."

"How does a police officer go to the bathroom? Ctrl+C"

"If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president."