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Joke of the Day
"What did the window say when it was cracked? Well this is a pane in my glass."
Next Joke
"Imagine the PR nightmare if one of these pardoned turkeys goes on a killing spree."
"What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE."
"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream got shot."
"In a recent drug use quiz at work, I won. Nobody got higher than me."
"When I Die I want my remains to be scattered at Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."
"I keep getting emails about penis enlargement. The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt."
"I like women the way I like my wine... Locked up in the cellar."
"""Sorry we're late. We had to stop so I could pee."" ""For two hours?!"" ""Yeah. It came out really slow."""
"I used to do drugs... ...I still do, but I used to, too."