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Joke of the Day

"*Social justice ppl arrive at nintendo headquarters in japan* ""Game... BOY?"" *merciless, graphic slaughter of nintendo employees ensues*"

"I finally figured out why i look so bad in pictures It's my face"

"The size of a woman's bag is directly proportional to how crazy she is."

"Hitler didn't like oranges. He hated the juice."

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"The worst part of taking calc class Every day, I deal with my e^x"

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"Girls with long nails explain to me your life. Like, do you not touch things? Do you enjoy dirt?"

"If you ever find yourself being attacked by a gang of clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"*wakes up early on weekend *makes 12 pancakes *wakes kids up ""Daddy, can we have waffles today???"" *eats 12 pancakes"