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Joke of the Day

"Hitler didn't like oranges. He hated the juice."

"How do you get two rednecks to play Banjo in unison? Shoot the first one."

"I said to her: ""Two more inches and I'd be a king"" ""Two inches less and you'd be a queen"", she replied."

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"I'll never understand why the guy that invented Braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters."

"Professor Snape caught Harry in the hall after dark and out of NOWHERE Lupin pops out in the hallway to save him. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT"

"A dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac... lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog."

"Why did the alligator go to Disney World? To get some tots! #toosoon?"

"An art teacher comes across a badly made nude painting. What does she say? ""This butt a scratch!"""

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."