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Joke of the Day

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"Why is the Vagina like the weather? Once it's wet, it's time to go inside!"

"One group of people still can't get married in the US Ugly people"

"[tells friend cat passed away] Is there anything I can do? Yes [holds up fur coat] put this on & lie in my lap But I- [starts crying] OK OK"

"What's a skydiver's favorite spice? Ground cumin! As long as they aren't running out of thyme."

"My Asian friend asked me what the word correctible meant... I replied, ""It's what you call an object regarded as being of value or interest to a collector."""

"I just found out that they offer college courses on how to be a janitor... Apparently it's some pretty tough shit."

"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant."

"What do you call a french person masturbating? Jacques-ing off."

"What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives? The guy gets fierious."