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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain? Neville Chamberlain takes a weekend in the country. Adolf Hitler takes a country in the weekend. (First told circa 1938)"

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"My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!"
"What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches? The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts."
"Don't let the correct punctuation fool you; I'm basically a 4 year old with good grammar."
"A haiku about my love life... Hahahahaha Hahahahahahaha Hahahahaha"
"YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u"
"Good cop: you two could go away for six years each for this Add cop: for a total of twelve years between you"
"Why did Eeyore cross the road? To get to the other... *sigh*"
"How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!"
"Why don't orphans like baseball? Because they don't know were home is XD"
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