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Joke of the Day

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."

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"Close your eyes. Picture a world without hunger. Open your eyes. I ate your sandwich."
"Our family motto is ""Who took my phone charger?"""
"What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force"
"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."
"Someone said you sound like an owl. Who?"
"A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house"
"Alpha Kenny Body Say it fast, slut."
"What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan? Taco Bell."
"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over? Because he's a dirty double crosser."