152905
Joke of the Day
"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."
Next Joke
"I thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I'm in NJ"
"WARNING Drinking before pregnancy can cause pregnancy."
"I had a bukkake party last night. It was a disaster. Nobody came. Edit: Wow! While I was gone this really...exploded."
"That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror."
"What's my favorite Jewish star wars character? Jewbacca"
"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."
"How bill Gates counts 1 2 3 95 98 XP Vista 7 8 10 I bet he failed math"
"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."
"My friend asked me if I've ever paid for sex I've paid dearly: I've got three kids."