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Joke of the Day
"Please sign my petition to make Matthew McConaughey the voice for Siri."
Next Joke
"He goes out for a run, and doesn't even stop to sniff any crotches. Humans are weird. ~Dogs."
"Idea: ""Celebrity Price Is Right"" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460"
"A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]"
"Some say to let sleeping dogs lie But I say sleeping dogs should be held accountable for their actions"
"Donuts 360GlazeitFaggot"
"My Ex-Girlfriend is Like a Box of Chocolates She'll kill your dog."
"Some days, I wish I had a button to restore myself to my original factory settings"
"How do you make people lose faith in this sub? This."
"Daughter: Mom, there's a man outside. Me: Get the net!"