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Joke of the Day

"A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]"

"Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy"

"Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me."

"How many doors are on a chicken coop? Two. If there were four, it would be a chicken sedan"

"i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes date: what about me? Hawaiian themed bathroom fire"

"I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel... ...but I couldn't Celeron it."

"Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!"

"How are electric outlets punished? They're grounded."

"Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am."

"I always thought Apple was filled with giant assholes, but boy was I wrong Turns out they're really just tiny jack-offs"