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Joke of the Day

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"Been a while since I've gone on Spring Break. How many wet T-shirts should I pack?"

"Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins"

"My neighbor once said he was as healthy as a horse. Today he broke his leg so I had to put him down."

"I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Lays."

"I found this addvertisement along the road in Texas Don't Texan drive."

"I walked up to a girl and said, ""Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."" ""Erm...what?"" she asked. I said, ""I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."""

"Try this for fun: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying ""Sorry for the damage."" Watching them is priceless."

"Life without women... would be a pain in the ass."

"Sorry I yelled ""GET A ROOM!"" at your grandson's wrestling tournament."