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Joke of the Day

"It's that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids."

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"According to hotel AC, the difference between 72 degrees and 73 degrees is 40 degrees."
"Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks? They get a hole in one!"
"Instead of an accountant, hire a philosopher to do your taxes. It's the thought that counts."
"How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family."
"When is a door not a door? When its ajar."
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway."
"If a blind couple breaks up... would they start hearing other people?"
"[First Date] ""Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed"" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*"
"Dad joke Daughter: Dad, do you know what a Dad joke is? Me: Of course honey, its what comes out of a dad egg."