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Joke of the Day

"Slow and steady wins the race, unless it's one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed."

"What was the first treacherous thing said? Adam you gotta try this!"

"Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web."

"Today a man came to my door asking for donations for the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"My Muslim neighbor came to my house and asked ""Have you seen Mahid lately?"" I said, ""No, just your eyes."""

"What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing? Castanets!"

"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."

"I had a Chinese last night... His name was Yang Li"

"as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money"

"I wish I gave Darth Vader different last words. Before he died, I wanted him to mutter, ""I should have stuck to pod racing."""