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Joke of the Day

"Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web."

"What does a doctor say to the new father of a stillborn child? Close, but no cigar."

"Whenever I see a person with a yoga mat... I tell them to get bent."

"Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem... [car horn] He didn't have access to the Record Scratch sound effect."

"I'm not an elitist. I'm far better than that."

"What to mopeds and fat chicks have in common? They're both fun to ride until one of your friends sees you on one."

"Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated."

"What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo."

"I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said ""open cap and push up bottom"". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome."

"If people who made meth called themselves methematicians it would probably be a more respected occupation."