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Joke of the Day
"Every day is a holiday if you love yelling."
Next Joke
"I heard that the majority of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home So I decided to move 30 minutes away"
"Whenever someone starts checking their phone when I'm talking to them I like to regain their attention by combing their hair"
"""I hate this quilt."" - my wife, a person capable of hating a quilt"
"My first memory was 9 months before I was born. I went to this crazy party with dad and left with mom."
"""I'm quite content on this side of the street, thank you."" -- No squirrel ever."
"Jokes That don't work written down There were 30 cows in a field, twenty ate sheep, how many didn't?"
"What's the only thing Gary the gay geneticist loves more than he loves his boyfriend, Bill? Designer jeans."
"How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the *Mainstream*"
"What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin? I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo."