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Joke of the Day

"I heard that the majority of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home So I decided to move 30 minutes away"

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"4 dead in office shooting Boss: ""looks like they're fired"" Secretary: ""No sir, they were fired at"""
"Why do I see so many broken condoms outside? Honey, those are called ""children"" and should be treated as such."
"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever."
"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."
"I once hung out with Rupert Murdoch (Fox News Boss) and Vince McMahon (WWE)... ...they spent the whole day sharing tips and tricks to manage the make-believe worlds they have created."
"Reporter: How do you feel that your proposal was turned down by Congress? Obama: Well, I've alw-- Biden: [grabs mic] TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?"
"Tonight playing poker with a buddy he said ""Care to make this interesting?"" And I said ""Sure. For years I've been secretly in love with you"""
"[Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?"
"Man who walks through airport turnstiles sideways.... is going to Bangkok"