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Joke of the Day

"I heard that the majority of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home So I decided to move 30 minutes away"

"So I was at a sushi restaurant last night. I saw they had this Orgasm roll. I tried it, but I couldn't finish."

"hope no vids surface of the time i opened a bag of potato chips and one flew out and hit me in the eye"

"Windows 9 Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9? Because Windows 7 8 9."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. His left ear, his right ear, and the final front ear."

"How do you know when your dad just got a blowjob? You can taste it in your sister's mouth....."

"""How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars,"" I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead"

"Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges."

"How many gay dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A whole buttload of them."

"If you're stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life."