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Joke of the Day

"My first memory was 9 months before I was born. I went to this crazy party with dad and left with mom."

"How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship."

"Tell me your best ""When is a --- not a ---?"" joke I'll start you off: When is a door not a door? > When it's ajar! When are eyes not eyes? > When the wind makes them water!"

"Do you like Taco Bell? Then you'll LOVE real food!"

"Why does Jesus perform miracles on quadriplegics? He can't fuckin stand 'em."

"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."

"When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies."

"A duck walks into a drug store, He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter. The cashier asks, ""will this be cash or check?"" The duck says, ""neither; just put it on my bill."""

"If I ever wanted to kill myself... climbing up your ego and jumping down to your IQ level would get the job done."

"friendzone how many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."