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Joke of the Day
"What part of a car is the laziest? The wheels. They are always tired."
Next Joke
"I confuse ""playing dead"" with ""playing dumb"" so if I ever encounter a bear I'll probably be like ""Listen, I don't even know how I got here."""
"I just ordered a door bell on Amazon... Shit, how am I gonna know when it gets here?"
"The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest."
"I went to a feminist convention. Everything was good, except for one thing. Nobody made sandwiches."
"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one who had a dream."
"Boss: Are you done with those reports yet? Me: Can you stop hovering over me? Boss: Sorry [turns off jetpack] Me: Much better."
"Farm counting A farmer had 30 cows, and 28 chickens... How many didn't?"
"Doctor doctor I'm at death's door! Don't worry Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through."
"What do you say to your floating TV at midnight? PUT IT DOWN, NIGGER!"