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Joke of the Day
"What part of a car is the laziest? The wheels. They are always tired."
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"Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That shit hurt."
"worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost"
"""Be right there! I just need to rip my lovely real eyebrows out & draw shitty fake ones in their place."" -Thousands of women"
"My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent."
"I need constant reassurance, right?"
"Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon."
"A little boy told his mom that he wants to be like Donald trump when he grows up Mom: Well pick one, you cant be both"
"Got my wife an educational toy. It's a dildo that speaks Spanish. Rapido Rapido Rapido."
"Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses."