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Joke of the Day

"Girl Dance Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day."

"If you're making out with a Thai girl, what's the first thing you should ask yourself? Am I feeling nuts?"

"Two messiahs walk into a bar and the bartender says ""There's no prophet in this!"""

"Where's my cell? ""Right there."" That's not my phone. ""Yes it is. I cleaned it!"" My cell's white?"

"Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally."

"A Jewish child needs some money So he asks his father, ""Father, may I have fifty dollars?"" The father says ""Fifty dollars?! What do you need forty dollars for? I don't even have thirty dollars!"""

"I was going to go camping for vacation... But I think it's too in tents for me..."

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter."

"What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles? Stumped"