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Joke of the Day

"[during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all"

"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."

"What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country? Simple, you get stoned twice"

"And the lord said take this all of you and eat it, this is my body which will be given up for you"" and Gordon Ramsay replied ""bland, dry, and tasteless."""

"I miss the things we shared together. Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool."

",,,,,, Find me a rainbow. I never understand lyrics anyway."

"If the headline just read ""Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead,"" news sites could reuse it over and over again."

"English is not my first language but I think my boss appreciates me He always says I am this functional!"

"What did Kobe Bryant's teamates say to him while he was scoring 81 points? ""I'M FUCKING OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"""

"""Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look."" - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious"