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Joke of the Day

"If the headline just read ""Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead,"" news sites could reuse it over and over again."

"I'm only leaving the house today so my selfies will have new backgrounds."

"Thinking about getting married? My wife got mad at me for doing all the yard work because we are in a fitbit step challenge together."

"John Cena wakes up ... **John Cena wakes up in a hospital** John Cena: Where am I? Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you can't."

"Why are LED's a good investment? Because they always diode."

"How can you tell a man from a woman Well, there's not really a vas deferens"

"Saw an ad for a mirror. It said ""Never used"". How, then, did they know it was a mirror?"

"[text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line."

"I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing."

"I once knew a girl so skinny... that when she swallowed a grape, 3 men left town. (it takes some thought)"