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Joke of the Day
",,,,,, Find me a rainbow. I never understand lyrics anyway."
Next Joke
"What's E.T. short for? Because he's got tiny legs."
"I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough."
"What's better than cheese? A cheese grater"
"All the problems fade before a hangover"
"What's harder than rocket science? My dick."
"""What time is it?"" *pulls out phone, checks Twitter, puts phone away* *Still has no idea what time it is*"
"Why was the Jolly Green Giant wrongly accused of being a pedophile? He'd been letting the kids use his dick for a bungee cord."
"Four men on a boat had five cigarettes but no lighter. How did they light their cigarettes? One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter."
"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."