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Joke of the Day

"Two gay guys went out for a night on the town without any cash. It was an unfunded mandate."

"What's the best side to eat from a chicken? The inside."

"What did the spud lover do before it went to bed? It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock."

"What did J. Robert Oppenheimer say after inventing the weedwhacker? ""I am become death, destroyer of weeds."""

"Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back."

"I had an Ethiopian blend of coffee this morning... It didn't taste very rich."

"What does Sifu stand for in Kung Fu Panda? Does it mean ""Sorry I Fucked Up""?"

"Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: ""Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !"""

"Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat? She wanted to wash up on shore"

"So the other day at the ATM an elderly lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her o_O"