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Joke of the Day

"What's the best side to eat from a chicken? The inside."

"Yesterday I tried to catch the fog... Mist."

"What did the grizzly bear study at college? He was an Ursa Major"

"*answers phone call from boss* I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!"

"Yesterday I came out of the closet. Then realized I should probably stop masturbating in my closet."

"I wear a stethoscope, so that in the case of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb? The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement"

"I'm thinking of opening a pre-owned clock store... I'm gonna call it 'Second Hand'."

"What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"