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Joke of the Day

"So the other day at the ATM an elderly lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her o_O"

"How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Because he's black"

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper."

"The US should rejoin Great Britain Its not like we mind Taxation without representation anymore."

"How many ADD/ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"Words: For when an emoticon just isn't enough."

"How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz..... With a broom and a dustpan."

"FOX NEWS: ONE WINTER STORM DISPROVES GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE THAN A BILLION PEACEFUL MUSLIMS ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE"

"WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie"

"(SPOILERS) Guess what show I did NOT want to watch after the latest Walking Dead? Bob's Burgers"