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Joke of the Day

"What did J. Robert Oppenheimer say after inventing the weedwhacker? ""I am become death, destroyer of weeds."""

"What concert costs 45 cents? A concert that costs 45 cents."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Budweiser. Budweiser who? Budweiser your mother naked?"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start? Well first I created the sun then the earth..."

"I'm waiting for the next generation iPad to come out. Y'know, one more compact, about the size of my iPhone. Wait."

"You never know how strong you are until you have to move your furniture all alone."

"Tonight's going to be a good night if I can get that stupid song out of my head. Otherwise, no."

"This coffee tastes like a Kenny G album."

"I asked the guy from 127 Hours for help with my homework. He said, ""I would give you a hand, but I'm stumped."" I'll show myself out."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven."