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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a fake enemy? A faux!"
Next Joke
"What did the guy with 5 penises say? ""These pants fit like a glove"""
"Republicans, don't forget to set your clocks back 50 years"
"Netflix just announced it's raising the price and changing it's slogan to ""One movie you wanna see and a thousand others you never heard of"""
"Spent 15min tracing a suspicious noise that tuned out to be the lid not screwed on the Coke bottle tightly enough. If you need a top sleuth."
"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-two year olds? There are twenty of them."
"Why did the kid get in trouble for wearing a bed sheet ghost costume? He wore a pointy hat underneath."
"I'm not a Facebook status, you don't have to like me."
"ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here."
"Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles."