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Joke of the Day

"A girl went to the village shaman She asked him ""I saw a dog in my dream and he was licking my foot. What does it means?"" The shaman replied ""It means that your other half will come soon"""

"What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ? Wok n' Roll"

"I'm drunk and ready to get retarded! Wait, that's not politically correct. I'm soberly-challenged and ready to get retarded!"

"Did you hear about the Mexican guy who cheated on his wife? It was really sad and now he only sees his kids on weekends."

"It's all fun and games until you notice the *rocket* in your nephew's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room because it's black."

"IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian."

"Countless marriages could be saved by requiring urinals in private residences."

"What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live."

"Didn't know true sadness until I accidentally pressed a button on my iPhone camera and saw my face from 2 inches away."