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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room because it's black."

"Why Did Princess Diana Cross The Street? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"What's the difference between spinach and sodomy? None really. You can add as much butter as you want, kids just won't enjoy them."

"Why was the Mexican tire sad? Because it was despair"

"Why does Donald Trump take women out on his yacht? Because of the implication."

"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"

"What i do in my bedroom is my business, what I do in your bedroom ok I guess that's your business"

"I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon."

"On one hand, your leaving a wadded up Kotex on the bathroom floor is a great appetite suppressant. On the other hand, that's fucking gross."

"They say a a dog is man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies that'll look me dead in the eye while taking a sh!t on my carpet."