168232

Joke of the Day

"i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before"

"Body by Oreos"

"What kind of bell doesn't ring? A dumbbell."

"When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what? We do."

"My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense."

"Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes."

"Never leave Sulfuric Acid in a metal beaker That's an oxidant waiting to happen."

"You know what they called vegetarians 300 years ago.... Poor People..."

"there was this confusing 'do not touch' sign in the mall. I just can't put my finger on it."

"[Request] Can I have a joke about early 20th century writing, poetry, or T.S. Eliot? Not a joke...just a request to the more talented. Thanks in advance!"