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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the honeydew and pineapple who tried getting married? The court said they *cant-eloupe*"

"A rabbi, an Irishman, and a clown walk into a bar The bartender says ""This has to be a joke."""

"Tom has no legs Who's that running? Not Tom"

"The price of Trumps' wall became much cheaper after the election... ...50 million people shit a brick!"

"[date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure"

"Why does the divorced guy keep a tampon on the top of his tv set? To remind him of the cunt that has his DVD player."

"How do gay people float? Flambuoyancy."

"What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables? The wheelchair"

"Him: You're not like other girls Me: [foghorn sound]"

"What do you call a friendly Chinese man who gives out free firewood? Kind Ling"