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Joke of the Day

"I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]"

"What is Jesus' favorite gun? ... a nail gun!"

"What do you get when you cross a turd and a mailbox? Shitpost."

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."

"I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it."

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"Qui-gon: You will give me the parts Watto: I'm immune to mind tricks Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers? Watto: I will give you the parts"

"My dad was born with a conjoined twin He was the uncle on my dad's side. But don't worry, the doctors were able to separate them. Now he's my uncle once removed."

"(Nsfw) what does a sex robot say when he's done with his task? Fuck off"

"I stayed up all night waiting for the sun to rise then it dawned on me"