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Joke of the Day

"I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]"

"If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $2 and some monopoly money..."

"what is an pirates fav element potassium because pirate doesnt want scurvy. it not argon k?"

"What do you call a Hispanic woman with no legs? Consuelo! My mother told me this one"

"Cosmo says ""untamed va-jay-jays"" are back in style. Can't they call them car wash mitts like the rest of us?"

"A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,""stop, you're putin me to sleep"""

"The last time I had a conversation about the Hindenburg It went up in flames."

"Really, auto correct, you don't recognize curse words? Grow the fuvk up."

"Whose son was Edward the Black Prince ? Old King Coal !"

"Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest."