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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING NEWS: North Korea may test a missil on April 10. They just need to find a gigantic bottle of Coke and a huge Mento."

"[blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) ""So what do u do?"" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]"

"Where do the Sith go shopping? The Darth Mall."

"Why should you not shop for plywood? You'll get bored."

"Yes officer, I did hit a pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed?"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Banjo Barbie ...complete with straw hat and Earl Scruggs cassette"

"Every time we disagree she suddenly wants a threesome, saying ""Now you're gonna fuck a nargue with me."" Please help me find a hot nargue."

"If you tell me to ""chillax,"" I will ""chillstab"" you and ""chillaugh"" while you bleed to ""chilldeath."""

"Why did the snowman smile? He heard that the snow-blower was in town."

"What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team? The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers."