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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat"

"I never get the silent treatment when I really want it."

"A Redditor walked into a We took too long to load this page for you. Try again and hopefully we'll be fast enough this time."

"There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house."

"I like my mashed potatoes like I like my babies smothered - thought of this while making dinner and discussing having children with my fiance... I don't think I'm ready for kids"

"Two muffins sitting in an oven... The first turns to the other and says ""Holy shit, it's hot in here"" The other exclaims ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"I just got a new hearse Everyone is dying to take a ride in it"

"[at the opera] Me: what's wrong with that guy Wife: shh! Me: but he's tiny, he can barely hold that violin Wife [whispers]: that's a cello"

"Blowjobs did not live up to my expectations. They suck."