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Joke of the Day
"I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, ""You are my bitch"""
Next Joke
"Deactivated my FB. Before the final ""submit"", they show you pictures of ""friends"" that says ""These people will miss you"". Best laugh ever."
"Why do hot girls always go for assholes? I don't even like pegging."
"Parents My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist. For most of their married life they fought tooth and nail."
"Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'"
"How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do."
"Doctor: are you an active marijuana user? Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games"
"I didnt know what to wear to my first meeting of the premature ejaculation society.... ...so i came in my pants."
"Sausage festivals... They're the wurst kind."
"Mars: I'm wet... NASA: I'm coming!"