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Joke of the Day
"Why do hot girls always go for assholes? I don't even like pegging."
Next Joke
"WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]"
"This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep."
"I knew my wife was having a bad day when she put her tampon behind her ear and couldn't find her cigarette."
"What is Mary short for? She has no legs"
"[A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank] Why do you think people hate us so much? ""Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."""
"Why do German shower-heads have 11 holes? because Jews only have 10 fingers."
"When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport? Ten-ish."
"Why were the Libyans eating money? They were having dinar."
"What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist? Nothing, giraffes aren't real."