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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: are you an active marijuana user? Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games"

"A really twisted joke What do Ted Bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common? They both left bodies in four states."

"*barges into bank with guns drawn Alright everyone now be cool and no one gets hurt! *hands out sunglasses all around Nice. Nice."

"A termite walks into a bar... He waits and waits and nobody appears. He turns to a termite next to him and asks him, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"". The second termite says, ""Yeah. It's okay""."

"[commercial for soup] Have you ever wanted to eat regular food only with water poured all over it? NARRATOR: SOUP"

"Why is the twin towers and gender the same. There used to be two of them but now it's to offensive to talk about."

"My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well."

"4 out of 5 dentists recommend flossing... The fifth is out killing lions."

"What do call a horse that lives near you? A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses)"

"Why is it easy to arrange for private yoga classes with a teacher? They are flexible."