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Joke of the Day

"What is the best animal related joke you know? These jokes should be any jokes that are even vaguely related to animals!"

"Stevie Wonder... I don't see what his problem is!"

"WTF is a palindrome? No it isn't."

"ME: Hey they're playing our song. HER: This isn't our song. ME: [turning up ""Go Your Own Way""] Yes it is, Karen. I want a divorce."

"do mice turn into rats or do i just have both in my apartment?"

"Two blondes in a hole Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""

"Snatch, twat, fanny, cunt, pussy, box, split-arse, and of course vagina. Just a few of the names I have given to my cats."

"How does a Jew make his coffee? Hebrews it."

"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."

"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."