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Joke of the Day

"What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible dummy!"

"Me: ""You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!"" Grandma: ""Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."""

"If I had a dollar for every punchline I forgot... Uh...damn it!"

"Saw a monarch butterfly today, what made it special is that it was the first time it wasn't stamped on top of a strippers ass."

"What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"Wise man once say... He who runs in front of car will get tired, He who runs behind car will get exhausted."

"Why are there no bungalows in France? Because the French have many flaws"

"[wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] ""stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"""

"I saw two blind people on campus today One of them walks by the same spot every day at 1:20. I've never seen the other one before. I don't think she's seen me either... or ever will."

"A German airman on the air forces during WW2 If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe."