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Joke of the Day

"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."

"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. I now have $999,999.75"

"A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation."

"Hoping to get ""till death do us part"" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two white stallions fell in the mud."

"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"

"When it comes to age, women are a lot like wine. I mean, who doesn't love 16 year-old wine."

"What do you call a drunk muslim? Hammad. What do you call a VERY drunk Muslim? Mohammad."

"please help laptop problem I painted my laptop black in hope of it running faster, now it doesnt work at all."