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Joke of the Day

"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."

"A dog named joke starts playing with his owners. One of the kids throws a ball across the street, the dog goes for it..... A car runs him over, the joke is over."

"thought i wanted to die but turns out i was just hungry"

"If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend"

"Did you hear about the birthday party thief? I've seen some pretty crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake"

"How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!"

"I have a file on my computer named Hillary Clinton When I tried to open it, I got a message saying ' file is too corrupt'"

"Whats the difference between New York and Middle Earth? Two towers."

"US Forces have just liberated thousands of ISIS sex slaves... All the goats and other livestock are being moved to an undisclosed location and are awaiting to be reunited with their farmers."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."