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Joke of the Day

"Programming is like sex One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime."

"April showers bring May flowers Mayflowers bring Smallpox."

"I hate being bi-polar It's awesome"

"Why can't you run through a campground? You need to RAN through a campground because it's past tents."

"Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's...[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff"

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Hey wanna take the elevator with me and discuss what day of the week it feels like? And then we can go over what day it actually is, deal?"

"Whats the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? Having to drop the bomb on them twice before they get it."

"The grass is always greener on the other side Because if we let you in you'd just ruin it for the rest of us."

"What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum? A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)"